


A Magical Date-cation

by Carrie_oke



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-03 04:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5275775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carrie_oke/pseuds/Carrie_oke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TECHNICALLY you came to Disney with your boyfriend, but he's not exactly an early riser...</p><p>(And stay tuned after the feature for some exciting bonus material!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 7:45 AM

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry; I'm still going to update my Mettaton story! I just really wanted to write this idea. While it was originally intended to be a oneshot, this story needs more than one chapter to cover what I have planned, so now it's a multichapter!  
> Note that the reader character is gender neutral. If I ever need to use third-person pronouns to refer to them, they'll be they/them, but you're welcome to swap those out.  
> Oh, and one more thing:  
> Please stand clear of the doors. _Por favor, manténganse alejado de las puertas._

It’s funny; you always thought that your first trip to Disney World without your parents would be with a group of friends. You never dreamed you’d be in a relationship by now, much less that your partner would accompany you on a vacation like that.

And you ESPECIALLY never imagined that they would be a skeleton.

Yet here you are, lying in your hotel room at 7:45 AM, your phone alarm ringing in the background and your skeletal boyfriend sleeping in the bed next to yours. You kind of want to send this moment to your past self with the caption, “This is your future.”

You’re not sure if past you would consider it a very _bright_ future, especially since the monsters have only been on the surface for a year or so. But present you? You’re pretty happy with what you got. The sun is shining, your phone is singing, and it’s a beautiful first full day of your trip.

Of course, now you need to change a few things about this scene. First off, more sunlight. You crawl out of bed and open the curtains. Much better.

Second, less phone singing. You turn off your alarm, whose work here has long been done.

Third, wake up the boyfriend. You quietly approach him. He’s sprawled out over a good portion of the bed, most of the covers thrown off him. You can see he never bothered to change into any sort of sleeping clothes, as that’s clearly the hoodie he was wearing yesterday. How he could keep a hoodie on in Florida warmth, you’ll never know.

“Saaaaans,” you say gently, leaning in so he can hear you. “Wake up. We’re going to the Magic Kingdom today!”

Sans is still fast asleep. Figures. If he were this easily stirred, he’d already be awake from your phone.

You try again. “Hey, Sans,” you say, a little louder this time. “I’d really like to make it before park opening.”

That doesn’t work either. “Sans!” You put your hands on his side and shake him.

“Huh? What?” He opens his eyes. Finally.

“Morning, Sans!”

“Morning.” He rolls over. “Night.”

Oh, Sans. How could you expect anything else from the guy? “Look,” you say, “I know getting up early isn’t really your thing, but I have some stuff I wanna do! I have FastPasses!” Disney’s system has you book your FastPasses-- virtual tickets to shorter wait times on rides-- days in advance.

“Yeah, _you_ do.”

“True…” Back when you were planning, Sans outright said he wasn’t going on any thrill rides with you, so you didn’t have to worry about getting him FastPasses. Even so, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to book such early times.

“Why doncha go on ahead?” Sans pulls a condiment packet out of his hoodie pocket. “I’ll ‘ketchup’ with you later.”

You can’t help but smile. Ever since you met this guy, puns have been a lot funnier to you. Especially puns coming from him. It takes a moment for you to realize that the ketchup packet is from the McDonald’s you went to yesterday. “Hey, why do you still have that?”

But he’s already fast asleep.

Oh, well. There’s no sense in yanking him out of bed just so he can wait for you in the sun. You’ll go to the park on your own, and he’ll meet up with you in a few hours. That’s fine by you. Today’s still gonna be great!

Before you can even think about going to the park, however, you have to get ready. You should probably get started on that.

 

\---

Once you’ve had breakfast, it’s not long before you’re dressed, sunscreened, and ready to go. And with over half an hour until the park opens, too!

You walk to Sans again. “You sure you don’t want to come with me?”

“Hm? Oh, ______. Yeah, I’ll be fine.” And in a blink of an eye, he’s asleep once again.

You shrug. “Suit yourself.” With one final check that your backpack is on your shoulders-- which it is-- you head out the door. “See you later!”

And so you begin your journey to the hotel’s monorail station. As you step out of your building, feeling the toasty air hit your face, you realize what an incredible experience this is for you. Yes, you’ve gone places alone before, but nowhere in DISNEY. For the next few hours, you’ll go where you want to go, do what you want to do, and not stop for any bathroom breaks except your own!

Of course, you were looking forward to spending time with your boyfriend, but it’s fine. He’ll show up eventually.

Just as you enter the lobby, you hear a familiar ringtone. Once you stop close to a wall so you’re not blocking the way, you shrug off your backpack and take out your phone. “Toriel,” it reads.

You press the answer button. “Hello?”

“Ah, hello, ______!” the voice on the other end answers. “Did I wake you?”

“No, I’ve been up for a while,” you assure her. Toriel is a friend you met through Sans, though she acts more like a legal guardian than a regular friend. You believe she’s some kind of goat monster.

“Good!” she says. “I seem to recall you wanted to get an early start today?”

“Sure do!” Speaking of which, you need to keep walking! You zip up your backpack and put it back on, your phone still in your hand. “I have a busy morning planned out.”

“It seems counterproductive towards the purpose of a vacation, does it not? You must remember to pace yourself!”

“Don’t worry; I will. I’ve been here before. Though I can’t help but wonder if it was a good idea to take Sans. He’s so...not a ‘get up and do rides’ kinda guy. Sometimes I feel like I just...dragged him here.”

“Nonsense. Sans has very much been looking forward to spending some time with you, no matter where it is. He told me so himself.”

“Wow. Really?”

“Of course. There is no need to worry about him. Although I would be cautious about the ‘ultraviolet rays’ that sun of yours produces! Are you wearing protection?”

“Yes, Toriel, I have sunscreen.”

“And be sure to keep yourself hydrated!”

“I got a water bottle!”

“Then I suppose that is all. Tell Sans I said hello, alright?”

“Alright. I’ll let you know when I see him.”

“When you see him? What do you mean?”

“He’s still sleeping.”

“Oh. Well, I suppose that is to be expected of him. Will you be fine on your own?”

“Yep! He’ll meet up with me later.”

You leave the lobby, walking across a bridge to arrive at the monorail station.

“Well, have fun!” Toriel says. “I have some pies to make for a local bake sale, so I will talk to you later.”

“Okay. Bye, Toriel!”

Just as you hang up, you hear the wooshing sound of one of your favorite skyway trains pulling into the station. The monorail awaits.


	2. 8:32 AM

The monorail, a peach-colored stripe running along the length of its mostly white structure, zooms nose first into the loading platform. It almost looks like it’s going to pass you, but instead, it slows to a stop, one of its pairs of automatic doors right in front of where you’re standing.

The doors push themselves forward and apart to let you in...and a family of yellow reptilian monsters out.

“Yoooo!” the youngest one says, hurrying to keep up with their parents. “That was the coolest ride EVER! Can we go again?”

You catch one of the parents saying, “Right after breakfast,” before they pass you by. You’re still not used to seeing monsters around, you admit, especially since Disney’s guests are still mostly human. But you’re not complaining.

Anyway, you should get into the cabin before the doors close on you. Eagerly, you step inside and take a seat on one of the benches.

A few other humans join you, but you still have plenty of space. There’s enough to plop your backpack down next to you in case someone calls you again, so you do that.

Since your phone’s within reach, you think about texting Sans to see if he’s up. It’s unlikely, but it’s worth a try. So you unzip your backpack and take out your cell.

But you quickly decide against texting him. If you’re not careful, you might end up checking every ten minutes to see if he’s any closer to coming, and that would just weigh you down. You’re going to enjoy yourself, gosh darn it!

So you settle instead on seeing what time it is. 8:32 AM. At this rate, you should get there before park opening, no problem!

It’s not even that long before you hear that monorail announcer’s iconic message: “Please stand clear of the doors. _Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas._ ”

You’re never happier to be warned about closing doors.

 

\---

Your ten-minute-or-so trip is interrupted only once, by a stop at the Grand Floridian, another one of Disney’s very many hotels. And that one stop doesn’t do much to deter your patience, even though you have to put your bag on the floor to make room for another person.

After a few more minutes of looking excitedly out the window as the announcer describes what you’re passing, you arrive at your destination.

You’re told to stay clear of the doors one more time before they let you go. Then it’s just a walk down the ramp and up a winding path...and then you see it.

Standing before you in all its glory is the front entrance to the Magic Kingdom. The Main Street clock tower rises above the gates, the only things standing between those lines of people and their park. In the background, you hear a familiar tune, and you can’t help but sing to yourself as you approach the bag check.

_When you wish upon a star_

_Makes no difference who you are_

_Anything your heart desires will come to--_

Your phone starts ringing again just as you get the chance to put your bag on the table. Somehow, you manage to unzip the front pocket while side stepping to the end of the table, and you grab the phone right as the security guard starts checking the bag in front of yours.

You don’t even bother to look at the name before answering. “Hi!” you quickly say. “Hold on; I’m getting my bag checked. Hello!”

“Morning!” the security guard says, checking all the compartments of your backpack for anything suspicious. Of course, he doesn’t find anything. “You’re all set!” he tells you, handing you back your bag. “Enjoy your day!”

“Thanks! You, too!” And you zip up your backpack, throw it back on, and find yourself a place in one of the lines. “Okay, I can talk now,” you inform whoever’s calling you.

“Hi, ______!” You recognize that kid’s voice.

“Hey, Frisk! How are Toriel’s pies coming along?” Frisk is another friend you met through Sans, but, believe it or not, they’re human. Even harder to believe is that they’re single handedly responsible for the monsters' return to the surface. It’s not that you think Sans was lying to you about that, but...well, Frisk is eleven.

“Pretty good!” they tell you. “She said I could have a piece!”

“That’s always nice.”

“Mm hm! ‘Specially with Mom’s pies!” Frisk thinks of Toriel as their mom, and considering they live with her, that isn’t too far from the truth. “I could ask her to wrap you a piece, too! Want one?”

“Hm...what flavor is it?”

“Butterscotch cinnamon! It’s REALLY good!”

“That _does_ sound good...but I’m not coming back for a week. You think it’ll still be good then?”

“Oh, right! You’re in Disney World with Sans!”

“That I am!”

“Wow. So you and Sans are in Disney, Alphys and Papyrus are at that beach party with Undyne, Mettaton and Napstablook are on that tour...no one’s home!”

“Oh my gosh! Sorry about that, Frisk!”

“It’s okay! I mean, it's not like you PLANNED this, right?”

“I didn’t,” you assure them.

“Didn’t think so,” they say. “Hey, can I talk to Sans?”

“Oh. Um, Sans isn’t here right now.”

“Really? Then where is he?”

“Back at the hotel room. He’s still asleep.”

“Huh. Weird.”

“It’s Sans. This isn’t weird at all.”

“I know, but aren’t you guys dating? Isn’t this supposed to be some kind of date vacation? Date-cation?”

“Date-cation, that’s good! I gotta pass that along to Sans,” you say. “But seriously, it’ll be fine. He’ll show up. He said he would.”

“Okay! I’m gonna hold him to it!” You can feel the power of their legendary determination emanating from the phone. “Or I would if I could. Mom wants me to help with the pies. But for the record, _I_ wouldn’t skip out on _any_ of our date-cation.”

“...Frisk, do you want to go to Disney World?”

“Heck yeah! But the real reason I said that was ‘cause I was practicing my flirting! What do you think? Am I good yet?”

“You’re gettin’ there!”

“But I’ll get better! One day, I’m gonna date anyone I want!”

“Ha ha, you follow your dreams, Frisk.” Just then, the “ding dong” of the welcome music rises above the crowd’s chatter, signaling the beginning of the opening ceremony. “I have to go. The park’s gonna open soon.”

“Okay! Have fun!”

“Thanks! Bye, Frisk!”

“Bye!”

And you hang up, turning your attention to the train station above. In just a few minutes, you can enter, and you couldn’t be more ready.

Although you can’t resist the temptation to take a picture of all those characters standing up there in front of the train. The shot's good enough, so you send it to Sans. “Opening ceremony sans sans,” you add in a text. “Come on and join the party!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By now, you might find two problems with this story. We're two chapters in and
> 
> 1\. an eleven-year-old has said more romantic things to you than your boyfriend has,
> 
> and
> 
> 2\. you haven't even gone on any rides yet.
> 
> I can assure you both of those issues will be remedied by the end of the story. Or at least, that second one will. Come on, Sans, your fans are waiting for you!
> 
> (Also, I like writing for Frisk because you can make their personality almost anything you want.)


	3. 9:58 AM

You don’t go in the moment the park opens; you still have to wait on line. But soon enough, it’s your turn to be admitted, and you immediately head underneath the bridge, stepping through the portal to Main Street, U.S.A.

The flagpole out front, the rows of little shops, one of those Cast Members carrying a huge bundle of Mickey balloons...it’s all a welcome sight. But you can’t stop and admire it now; you have a ride to get to!

No, it’s not one of the ones you FastPassed; you have an hour window to make each of those. You’re going to Space Mountain on the standby line, and you need to be there as soon as possible if you don’t want to wait too long.

 _Then_ you’ll go to your first FastPass. That’s _Splash_ Mountain.

 

\---

You zoom through the stars on Space and plunge 50 feet on Splash without waiting more than 15 minutes for either. With two big name rides in the first hour, you’d say the day’s going great so far!

There’s just...one thing that’s been bothering you.

As you approach the loading platform for these rides, a Cast Member always asks you one simple question: “How many?” They are, of course, referring to how many people are in your party. And both times today, you’ve had to respond with “One.” Which wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t feel like _the only single rider there_.

You listened to countless “How many?”s on both of your waits, and you swear every single person who answered said at least “Two.” Are you breaking social norms here? Are people just not supposed to go on Disney rides alone? Or maybe that’s just really uncommon.

If anybody asks, you can tell them that you came on _vacation_ with someone else; you know that’s true. Even so, you kind of hope nobody asks.

And they haven’t so far. So you put the thought aside as you take a seat on a bench outside Splash Mountain. Time to take a moment to breathe and decide on what you’re going to do next.

And check to see if that skeleton’s responded to those messages you sent him earlier. It turns out he hasn’t, but you do learn that it’s 9:58. Still a little early for Sans to wake up unaided, you suppose. You wouldn’t know for sure, since you’ve always waited until at least 2 in the afternoon to invite him somewhere.

Oh, well. You’ll try again later. For now, you put the phone back, get up, and get on line for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. It happens to be right next door.

 

\---

This is definitely the longest wait time you’ve encountered so far-- the sign said 30 minutes-- but for a popular Disney ride, that’s not bad at all. Besides, you’re feeling pretty patient. The view of the trains outside, along with the occasional crank to turn or sign to read, is enough to occupy you for the first 10 minutes.

You’ll never know how long you’d last after that, though, because at the end of those 10 minutes, your phone starts buzzing again.

And, of course, it’s right as the line is moving. You have to turn a corner and walk almost the whole way to the end of the row before you can answer.

So, fearing it’ll go to voicemail if you wait even a second longer, you press that button as soon as you can. “Hello?”

“HUMAN!”

“Ah!” You nearly drop the phone.

“Yes, I do tend to strike fear into the hearts of your kind. But worry not! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS...just wanted to see how you were doing! And also I’ve retired. From capturing humans.” Papyrus is Sans’s brother, and back when the monsters were still trapped underground, he aspired to be a member of their Royal Guard...or so you’ve heard, anyway.

“I’m...I’m doing great...Papyrus.” He’s a great guy, but boy, can he be LOUD. “I’ve been on Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, and I’m working on Big Thunder Mountain!”

“I don’t know where any of those mountains are, but I’m glad to hear you’re having a good time!”

“Thanks. I’m in Florida, by the way, in case I didn’t mention.”

“Florida? Now, where have I heard that name before…? Oh, yes! I’m in Florida, too!”

“Really? Where in Florida?”

“I’m not sure, actually! Somewhere along the coast. I’m staying at Undyne’s beach house!”

“Oh, yeah! Frisk told me you guys were at a beach party!”

“We ARE at a party, and I am the life of it.”

“I don’t doubt that for a second.”

“Of course you don’t! I’m an excellent addition to any party!” Papyrus is nothing if not full of energy. “But enough about me. Let’s talk about my brother! He hasn’t been answering his phone for some reason.”

“That would be because he’s still asleep.” Admittedly, you’re starting to get tired of having to tell people this. “I came into the park alone.”

“So you haven’t seen him all morning?”

“I saw him right after I woke up.”

“Still, you’d think he’d have a better understanding of how dates work! The most important thing to remember is to SPEND TIME WITH YOUR DATE! The official rulebook says so!”

“Papyrus, it’s...there’s an official rulebook?”

“Last year I swiped it from the library! Neat, huh?”

“Yeah. I want to see this book!”

“That’s going to be a problem, because I have no idea where it is now. But I remember most of it! And it sounds like you could use my dating expertise!”

“Thanks, but I’ll be fine.”

“No need to hide it. I’m your cool friend that you can be honest with!”

“Wha…?”

“I can hear it in your voice. You miss him.”

“Who, Sans?”

“Yes. Somehow, he’s managed to capture your heart, hasn’t he?”

You giggle. “Yeah…”

“So naturally you want him here with you!”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I’m having a lot of fun just being here, but...I guess I am kinda disappointed he hasn’t joined me yet. Even if it is just because he’s lazy.”

“He’s VERY lazy. But that’s no excuse to treat one of MY friends this way! He should really appreciate that he’s dating you more. In fact...I’m going to talk to him about this! Hold on.” He abruptly hangs up, leaving you alone with the other people in line and the country music playing in the background.

It’s not until you’re almost to the loading platform that he calls you again. “Sans still isn’t answering!” he tells you. “But don’t worry! I have a brilliant plan!”

“You do?”

Before Papyrus says anything else, a Cast Member gets your attention. “How many?” she asks.

“Just one,” you tell her.

“One? Row 5, right this way!”

You follow her arm to row 5, marked by a number 5 on the ground. There are a couple people there already, waiting for the next train, so you have a little more time to talk to Papyrus.

Speaking of Papyrus, he continues as soon as you’re in the row. “I’m always ready for things like this! You can’t spell ‘prepared’ without several letters from my name! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to put my brilliant plan in motion.”

“But what _is_ your brilliant plan?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see!”

“Okay, then.” You’re a little worried, but you know he means well. “Now, if you’ll excuse _me_ , I’m about to go on the wildest ride in the wilderness!”

 

\---

After Big Thunder, you head to your other two FastPass reservations, and by the time you’re done with the second one, you’re pretty hungry. So you go to the Pinocchio-themed restaurant in Fantasyland and order yourself some lunch.

A little while after you’ve started eating, you get another call from Papyrus. “So where exactly are you again?”

“Disney World in Florida,” you tell him.

“Yes, but _where_ in this ‘Disney World’?”

“Magic Kingdom. In the Pinocchio place in Fantasyland. Why?”

“You’ll see!” he says. “Hold on, where exactly is Fantasyland?”

“Behind...the castle?”

“Thank you! That’s all I needed to know!” And he hangs up.

As you take another bite of your food, you wonder what that was all about. Did he…? No, he couldn’t have…

But a few minutes later, when you’ve almost finished, you hear a very familiar voice. “_____ the human!” it says. “I’m so glad I found you!”

You look up from your plate.

He did.


	4. 12:01 PM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe I ever thought this could be a oneshot?

For a few moments, you can’t say anything. You’re too busy trying to form your confusion into questions.

“What’s the matter?” Papyrus asks. “Surprised to see me?”

“Yes,” you manage to answer. “I mean, now that I think about it, this _is_ the kind of thing you’d do, but...you were at a beach party. And park tickets are _expensive_!”

“It wasn’t THAT expensive! Only about a hundred dollars!”

“Still, all that driving and a hundred dollars just so I won’t be alone?”

“That’s the kind of friend I am!” He strikes a confident pose, and you can almost see his cape flowing in the wind. And he’s not even wearing his cape today; just his casual outfit with those basketball shoulder pads...and a pair of mouse ears. “Besides, I’m not JUST keeping you company. No, the great Papyrus has a bigger purpose in mind! And that is your date.”

“Oh, yeah. You were forming a plan about that! Just curious; what are you going to do?”

“Well, first, I’m going to call Sans again.”

“Good idea!” You take out your phone. “It’s...12:01, so there’s a chance he’s up. But I can just call him myself.”

“No need to trouble yourself. Sans needs my persuasiveness!” He’s already holding his own phone next to where his ear would be.

As he’s waiting for Sans to answer, you take the last couple of bites of your food.

Finally, he starts talking again. “WHAT? Still not answering?!” Another pause. “I WILL leave a message! Sans! This is Papyrus! Your brother! I’m in Disney World with ______ right now, and I can prove it!”

He reaches across the table to hold the phone up to your face. All you can think to say is “Hi, Sans,” before Papyrus takes the thing back.

“We’re having a ‘magical’ time, as they say in this place! So it’d be really great if you could join us. You wouldn’t want your date to get romantic feelings for me instead, would you?”

You’re glad you can swallow your drink before you burst out laughing. Really, there’s no danger of _that_! You realized your feelings for Papyrus were strictly platonic after one date, and luckily, he felt the same way. But he still took you to his house afterward, which is how you first met Sans.

“Well, that’s it. I’m going to hang up now,” Papyrus says. “Wait...Sans, you were here this whole time, weren’t you?”

“SAAANS!” You start laughing again right after you’ve calmed down from the first burst. “Why’d you _pretend to be an answering machine_?”

“Yes, it is. ______’s really enjoying this.” Another pause. “Fine! But you need to explain yourself!” He holds the phone over the table. “Sans wants to talk to you.”

“Okay, thanks,” you say, taking the phone. “Hi!”

“Hey,” Sans says on the other end. “How’s the Magic Kingdom?”

“Good. I got a few rides done. How’s...whatever you’re doing right now?”

“Kinda noisy, but I don’t mind. They got really nice pool chairs here.”

Pool chairs? Now that he mentions it, you _can_ hear splashing in the background. “You’re at the pool?”

“Yep.”

“But I thought you said you were gonna meet up with me.”

“I will, ______. Heck, I was just about to. But I guess you can say the water was _waving_ at me.”

You chuckle. “Wait, waving...wave pools….you didn’t go to Typhoon Lagoon without me, did you?”

“No. I don’t even know what that is.”

“It’s a water park. I didn’t think you went there; I was just checking.”

“I see.”

“So, how long do you think you’re gonna be?”

“I stopped growin’ a long time ago.”

At this one, you just smile. “Seriously, how much more time do you think you’re gonna take?”

“No idea.”  
  
“Oh.”

“But I’ll be there. And in the meantime, you got my cool brother!” he assures you. “Hey, did you invite him?”

“No, he just showed up. On his own.”

“That’s my brother for you. Always going the extra mile.”

“Or in this case, a _lot_ of extra miles!” You stand up with your tray and dump your garbage in the trash can. “So I’ll see you later then? It’s _our_ date-cation, after all!”

“Date-cation, huh? Nice.”

“It wasn’t my pun. Frisk came up with it. Oh, and Toriel says hello!”

“Hi.”

“Alright, so I’ll see you later?”

“Promise.”

“Okay. Bye, Sans!”

“Bye!”

And you hang up and head back over to your table so you can gather your stuff. “He’s at the hotel pool,” you tell Papyrus, handing him back his phone. “And he has no idea when he’s going to be done.”

“Well, that’s just rude!”

“Yeah, I guess. But at least he said he’d show up eventually. That’s good, right?”

“It’s a start!” Papyrus says.

You nod, trying to stay optimistic. “I’m not just gonna sit here waiting for him, though. What do you want to do now?”

“Whatever YOU want to do!” he replies. “That’s the second part of my plan!”

“Doing what I want to do?”

“That’s part of it. Part of the second part. I’m going to maximize your date power before he even gets here!”

It takes a moment to process this. “You mean...you’re going to date me _for_ him?”

“Not really! But sort of!”

This does nothing to answer your question. “You’re planning something _completely platonic,_ right?”

“Platonic in the sense that I, Papyrus, am still going to be your cool friend! But SANS is going to date you whether he knows it or not!”

“I’m interested, but I’m still confused.”

“It’ll all come together soon! First, we need to go where Sans would take you.”

“Grillby’s?” Grillby, the owner of a successful bar and grill in the underground, has since opened a location on the surface. You’ve been there a few times with Sans.

“No, where Sans would take you if he were more romantic!”

“Grillby’s with a violinist playing in the corner?”

“Really accurate, but not what I had in mind! The rulebook says you need to tend to your date’s interests, not just yours. So before I came, what were you going to do next?”

“Hm…” You think back to when you were eating alone and planning your afternoon. “I was gonna go on the Winnie the Pooh ride.” It’s a childhood favorite of yours.

“Then we’ll do that! Are you ready?”

“Just a sec. I gotta reapply.” You set your backpack down on your chair and take out your tube of sunscreen. Once you’re covered with a second coat of the stuff, you put it away, zip up your bag, and put your sunglasses back on your head. “NOW I’m ready.”


	5. 12:49 PM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we have two new chapters in one day! Don't expect much more of that, though. I had a lot of writing time today.

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh is also in Fantasyland, which is part of the reason why you picked it for your next ride. You and Papyrus are there in only a couple minutes.

As you stand there, in front of the wooden-looking plank proudly displaying the attraction’s name, you glance at the wait time. “40 minutes,” you read. “Not too bad for this ride, but are you okay waiting that long?”

“Sans would say that of course he is. Because he’s doing this for you! And he cares about you.”

“Awww….” You picture Sans standing right next to you and saying that. “I think it’d be more like, ‘Anything for you, _____!’ though.” Yes, that sounds much better in his voice. “Hey, wait!”

“What is it?”

“I see what you’re trying to do here! You’re giving me romantic feelings….through Imaginary Sans!” You hold your arm out, side hugging the air next to you. “This is an idea I can get behind!”

“I knew you’d love it!” Papyrus says.

You smile warmly, resting your head on your imaginary boyfriend’s shoulder, before you realize that isn’t really resting and nearly topple over. “Whoa!” Soon, you regain your balance. “Really, thanks for coming, Papyrus. If you hadn’t shown up, I….well, I’d still be having fun. Just not THIS much fun!”

“It’s no trouble at all! Not for Papyrus!”

“If you say so!” You switch back to a serious expression. “But unlike Imaginary Sans, you’re actually here. So would _you_ be okay waiting 40 minutes?”

“Oh, yeah, sure!”

“Then let’s go in!” You hurry under the sign. “Come on, Sans!”

Papyrus is quick to catch up with you, and soon, you’re at the end of the line. You’re not exactly in for a _short_ wait, but you don’t mind.

“So,” you say to Papyrus, “I see you got yourself a pair of mouse ears.”

“Oh, you mean these? Yeah, I saw a lot of people wearing them and thought I’d get some myself! What do you think?”

“You look like a regular Mouseketeer.”

Somehow, Papyrus manages to narrow his eye sockets in suspicion. “Was that a pun?”

“No. Well, yeah, I guess it is a pun, but I was referring to…” What did the Mouseketeers do again? “Never mind. It’d take too long to explain.”

“You know what? I’ll let you pun just for today. You’re dating SANS, not me!”

“Thank you, Papyrus.”

“In fact, speaking of Sans, I think he’s feeling a little...a little...oh, I can’t say it! You say it for me!”

“ _Bone_ ly?” you guess.

“Yeah, that. You shouldn’t be giving ME all the attention! Even though it’s very tempting!”

“You’re right,” you say, grasping some empty spot you’ve decided is Imaginary Sans’s hand. “I’m sorry, Sans.”

 

\---

A while later, you’re approaching the part of the line with giant touch screens full of “honey” to draw in. Almost to the front now.

“You know, I might like this Imaginary Sans better than the real one. He doesn’t leave his socks everywhere!” Papyrus says. “Can he come live with me?”

“No! He’s MY boyfriend!” You hold Imaginary Sans tightly to your side in joke possessiveness. “Besides, maybe he’s been leaving a trail of socks this whole time! You don’t know!”

“I don’t, do I?” Papyrus looks down, possibly imagining one of his brother’s dirty socks sitting there. “I’ll stick with Real Sans. At least with him, I can see what he’s doing!”

You nod. “Good. I wouldn’t want to separate you guys!”

“Are you sure? You WOULD do a pretty good job taking care of him! Almost as good a job as me!”

“You really think so?” Blushing is something you’ve only heard about in legends, but if you’re capable of it, you must be doing it right now. “Maybe I _will_ let you have the imaginary one!”

By now, Imaginary Sans has practically developed a mind of his own. _Please don’t leave me,_ you can hear him say. _I love you._

Slowly, you let go of that empty space. “This isn’t working, Papyrus,” you say. “Imaginary Sans has developed his own identity. I feel like I’m cheating on the real one.”

“Then we need to get another Sans! The question is...how?”

“Let me see…” You run your finger down a honey screen, drawing a line in the digital honey, as you look up. “Maybe that’s Sans!” You point above the screen, to a picture of Winnie the Pooh happily eating some honey.

Papyrus follows your finger. “The bear?”

“Yeah, that’s Pooh! But he kind of reminds me of Sans! Try to picture him as a skeleton.”

“Okay.”

“And instead of a pot of honey, he’s holding a bottle of ketchup.”

Papyrus spends a few moments concentrating. “I see it! He DOES sort of look like Sans! The things you can do with the power of imagination!” He looks back at you. “So how do we get him down from there?”

“I don’t know.” Even if you imagine he’s coming down from there, you’ll still be able to see him in his original position. “We’ll have to stick to Imaginary Sans for now.”

 _Thanks, ______,_ Imaginary Sans says. _I’ll be the best imaginary boyfriend ever._

 

\---

It’s not that long before you’re standing on the loading platform, waiting for your “hunny pot” to arrive. You, Papyrus, and Imaginary Sans are all sitting in one row, even though each row is only supposed to seat two. Unfortunately, figments of the imagination don’t count as party members.

But your Sans seems happy he gets to squeeze in tight next to you. Which is really sweet and all, but he’s losing more of Sans’s personality by the minute. If you’re not careful, he’ll soon be nothing more than a lovesick zombie.

You focus on where Imaginary Sans is, bringing forth your mental ventriloquism power to make him say something that doesn’t involve being in love with you. _Boy, do I like me some ketchup._

Close enough.

It won't be much longer until you get your hunny pot. As quickly as you can, you pull out your phone. It’s 12:49. “Hey, Papyrus,” you say, “do you remember what time it was when we got on the line?”

“Nope! No idea!”

“Huh.” You put your phone away. “Guess I’ll never know how long the wait was. But it sure as heck didn’t feel like 40 minutes.”

“Then my brilliant plan is working perfectly!”

 _With you, every wait feels all too short,_ Imaginary Sans says, gazing at you lovingly.

The gates in front of you open, and you step into the front row of your aqua-colored hunny pot. “Oh, Sans,” you say, giggling. “Papyrus, we gotta do something about this guy. He’s _too good._ ”


	6. 1:02 PM

The thing about the Winnie the Pooh ride is that you’ve never really associated it with romance. Sure, you enjoy yourself during your journey through the Hundred Acre Wood, but once you’ve passed the part where Gopher says “Happy Windsday,” you nearly forget Imaginary Sans is there.

You’re just too busy bouncing with Tigger to pay attention to any admiration, not to mention that Papyrus has a few things to say.

Take the heffalumps and woozles scene, for instance. After a cool effect where Pooh’s dream self separates from his sleeping body, your vehicle rolls into a brightly colored, fun house-esque room full of mirrors, loud patterns, and the elephant-like heffalumps and weasel-like woozles Pooh is having a nightmare about.

“______, what do these ‘heffalumps’ and ‘woozles’ do, anyway?” Papyrus asks.

“Ah, nothin’ much. Just steal honey,” you answer, quoting Tigger. You pass by a red heffalump, and a ring of fog puffs out of their nose. “Also blow smoke in your face,” you add.

“You’re right. That isn’t scary at all!”

“Nope. Unless you happen to be a bear.”

The only time you think about Imaginary Sans throughout this entire scene is when you rest your hand on the seat between you and Papyrus. “Oops! Sorry,” you whisper, swiping your hand away.

 _It’s alright,_ Sans says. _I don’t mind. In fact, why don’t you lie down in my lap?_

“Thanks, but then I won’t be able to see,” you point out. And you turn your attention to a hunny pot hot air balloon.

The next time you see Imaginary Sans is when it’s time to exit the ride. Papyrus, being on the left, exits first, followed by Sans, who offers a hand to help you up. You take it, even though this makes it look like you’re sticking your arm out for no reason.

Like many ride exits at Disney, this one makes you go through a gift shop. Not that you mind, though; you like looking at all the Pooh-related merchandise even if you have no intention of buying any of it.

You stop near a shelf full of plushies so you and Papyrus can plan your next move. “Well, that was fun!” Papyrus says.

“Yeah. Felt good to share a ride with someone!”

“I know from experience that friendship makes good feelings all around! Papyrus: improves your mood by...a lot!”

You let out a small laugh. “You sure do!”

“But enough about me. For now. How’s your date coming along? Do we still need another Sans?”

“I’m still hoping Real Sans comes eventually, but other than that...I don’t know.” You point to Imaginary Sans with the hand that isn’t locked with his. “I’m growing real fond of this one.”

Imaginary Sans blushes, despite his real world counterpart not having blood. _Aw, stop it!_

You look down at your outstretched arm. “Although it would be nice if people could see him. I’m worried they’re gonna start asking questions.”

“You have a point there.” Papyrus looks around, appearing to be in deep thought. “I got it! Wait here!”

Since you’re focusing on Sans at this point, you’re caught off guard. “Huh? Where did you go?”

Papyrus, as it turns out, is at the checkout counter. What’s that he’s got there? You can’t tell from over here.

But soon enough, you get your answer. He hurries back over as soon as he can, holding a stuffed Winnie the Pooh. “You said this Pooh reminds you of Sans, right?”

You nod, wondering where this is going.

“So I figured he’d make a nice stand-in! ______, Papyrus presents...Imaginary Sans’s physical form!” He hands you the Pooh.

For a few moments, you just look over the stuffed animal, turning it around a few times. “Papyrus, you...you didn’t have to. I feel like I should pay you back for all the money you’re spending. Or at least this.”

“I appreciate the offer, but no,” he says. “If anything, you should be charging Sans for this.”

“Okay, but...are you sure?"

“Of course I’m sure! What kind of friend would I be if I made you pay money for something you didn’t even ask for?”

“Huh. Makes sense,” you say. “Thanks, Papyrus.” You hug the Pooh plush, keeping its head next to yours. “Oooh, Sans, you’re so soft! Which is the opposite of what skeletons usually are, but still.”

Imaginary Sans doesn’t say anything in response. He’s probably just enjoying the moment.

“So what should we do next?” Papyrus asks. “What’s the most romantic ride here?”

“Hm.” You stop hugging “Sans,” turning him around and holding him with only one arm. “This is a family park, so there’s nothing really meant to be romantic. But there are a lot of ‘dark rides.’ The dark’s pretty romantic, right?”

“Yeah, I think the rulebook said something about that. What’s the darkest one of these rides?”

“Haunted Mansion? No, wait.” You close your eyes and try to think of how dark each of the rides here gets. “There’s Space Mountain, but A, the line’s probably really long by now, B, you sit single file and not next to anyone, and C, I’d have to put Sans in a bag on the side.” Also, you already went on Space Mountain today, but you wouldn’t be opposed to a second ride if it weren’t for those other factors. “Wait a minute!”

“What is it?”

“In Tomorrowland, there’s this ride where it gets PITCH BLACK. You go into all these buildings, and...how about I just show you? Let’s go!”

You head out the door, Sans in arm, with Papyrus following closely behind. Tomorrowland isn’t too far away.

 

\---

Within a few minutes, you and Papyrus stand at the base of the moving ramp that marks the entrance to the PeopleMover. The line for this one isn’t usually that long, so you can afford to wait to go in.

You take out your phone again (learning it’s 1:02) and consider texting Sans. The real one. The imaginary one, looking on through Pooh’s beady little eyes, says, _Don't trouble yourself with that guy. I'm starting to think he's not worth your time._

"You're supposed to _be_ this guy, Sans," you reply. "So please don't say things like that. I'm having trouble keeping the illusion up as it is!" Even so, texting him can wait. You put your phone away. “Anyway, let’s go, guys!”

As expected, the wait isn’t that long at all. Soon, you’re climbing aboard a blue and white vehicle of the Tomorrowland Transit Authority, about to take a tour around Tomorrowland. Papyrus sits across from you and Imaginary Sans, so he’s completely out of the way of anything you want to try.

You travel outside for a little while before you reach the first indoor portion. Okay, so it’s not exactly _pitch black,_ but it _is_ pretty dark. Your vehicle rolls to a stop.

Wait, this isn’t supposed to happen.

An announcement plays over the loudspeakers telling you that the ride is facing some technical difficulties and that you should be continuing your journey soon.

“Yeah, this happens sometimes,” you tell Papyrus. “You just gotta be patient, that’s all.”

“You know...this doesn’t have to be a BAD thing,” Papyrus says.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re alone in the dark with Sans! And me, but I can be quiet!”

“You don’t mean…” Slowly, you look down at Imaginary Sans, currently sitting in your lap.

 _______,_ he says, _I think he means._


	7. 3:00 PM

“Actually, I don’t know what he means,” you’re forced to admit. “What do you mean, Papyrus?”

“I thought YOU would know!” he answers. “The book never said anything about what couples are supposed to DO in the dark!”

“I think that’s up to the couple.” You look back at your lap. “Hey, Sans, you sounded like you knew what you were talking about. What did you have in mind?”

_I’m not sure. That just sounded like the right thing to say._

“Sans doesn’t know, either,” you inform Papyrus. “I mean, technically, he can’t know anything I don’t know, but still. I’m stuck.”

“Then...what did you and the real Sans used to do when it was dark and you were alone together?”

“Sleep?” you reply, laughing. “He’s really good at that!”

“Nyeh heh heh!” Papyrus doesn’t always laugh like that; you think he just wanted an excuse to use his catchphrase. “I know that all too well! You know he slept on a pile of my spaghetti cans once?”

“Oh my gosh, really?”

“Yes, it was back when we were still underground! I was cleaning out the fridge, getting rid of any spaghetti that had gone bad. And while I was at it, I figured, why not organize them by expiration date? You know, so I could use more of them.”

“Never heard of canned spaghetti, but go on.”

“And then Sans came back from one of his jobs.”

“Jobs? Plural?”

“I know! It's amazing! And somehow, he still managed to spend most of his time on break!”

“Wow.”

“So anyway, he was really tired from either being a sentry or a hot dog salesskeleton-- I forget which-- and he didn’t want to walk all the way to the couch. So he collapsed right onto my beautiful pasta! I couldn’t wake him up for at LEAST an hour!”

“That’s Sans for you!” You let out a small chuckle. “Did the spaghetti go bad?”

“Fortunately, no. The spaghetti was--”

Another announcement comes on. Thank you for your patience, it says. Your tour of Tomorrowland will continue shortly. Within a few moments, you’re off once more.

You look down at your lap again. The Pooh doll lies sort of limp, like it’s disappointed in something.

“Sorry, Sans,” you whisper. But part of you gets to thinking that maybe this is for the best.

 

\---

After that, you’re not as focused on trying to work romance into things. Imaginary Sans makes the offer while you’re in line for Tomorrowland Speedway, but you decline, saying that you’re just not feeling it.

The kid in front of you looks up and asks you to repeat what you just said; she must think you were talking to her. But you tell her it was nothing.

What made you think you had to speak out loud to this Sans, anyway? He’s _in your head_. You can just communicate telepathically.

From then on, whenever you need to talk to your imaginary boyfriend, you just think whatever you want to say. Which is much more socially acceptable, but it gets Papyrus concerned.

While you’re on a bench, taking a break during the 3:00 parade, he nudges you on the shoulder. “You’ve been really quiet lately,” he says. “Are you alright?” You’re far enough from the parade for you to hear him easily.

“Yeah. At least, I think so.”

“Imaginary Sans isn’t giving you any trouble, is he? Because if he is, you don’t have to keep him. He can just be...what’s that bear’s name again?”

“Pooh. Winnie the Pooh.”

“He can just be Pooh!”

 _You really do seem down, ______,_ Imaginary Sans says. _Don’t suffer by yourself, alright? I’m here for you._

 _Oh, Sans..._ you say in your head. _That really means a lot…_ You bring him in for a hug. _...even if, technically, it’s only coming from me._

Your eyes shut tight, and you adjust your Sans so that his nose is touching your face. But you can’t resist the urge to open your eyes just for a second, and you see a sea of yellow marked by two little black dot eyes, blurred by being so close.

Sighing, you put “Sans” back on your lap. “I can’t do this, Papyrus,” you say out loud. “All I see is Pooh Bear!”

“Should we find Sans another physical form?” he offers.

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” It takes a few moments to find the words. “You were right, Papyrus. I do miss him.” Something’s running down your cheek. You touch a finger to it, and it comes off with what is undeniably a drop of water. “What the…? Am I... _crying_?”

Papyrus rests a bony hand on your back.

“How did this happen? I was feeling just fine a half hour ago! What gives?” You can’t hold it back now; your breathing comes in short bursts, and more tears trickle down your face. “I’m in DISNEY WORLD for gosh sakes! I shouldn’t need a boyfriend to have fun!”

“You don’t, ______,” Papyrus says, attempting to be gentle but only speaking at a normal volume. “What about the wildest ride in the wilderness?”

“Yeah.” You sniff. “Big Thunder was pretty fun. Today’s been a blast! So why...why am I…?” You interrupt your own sentence with a sob.

_Could it be that you’re worried he doesn’t care about you?_

You open your eyes. Imaginary Sans?

 _This place is special to you,_ he continues, _and you were looking forward to sharing it with him. But he’s taking so long to join you that you wonder if he even wanted to come in the first place. Maybe you just dragged him here. Maybe the excitement was all yours._

You're silent. Even your thoughts are silent, save for a few feelings you haven’t translated into words.

_Am I right?_

Through the cloud of sadness in your mind, you manage to form a sentence. _You’re in my head, Imaginary Sans,_ you think. _Of course you’re right._

 _Then call him_. _Tell you how you feel._

_But what about you?_

_I’m a part of you,_ he says. _How can I be happy if you’re not happy?_

 _I...thanks, Sans._ You wipe away a tear. _You know, you’re not really Sans anymore, are you? Want me to name you something else?_

Sans (and you) think for a moment. _I’ll tell you what. If you guys break up, I’ll take another name. Sound good?_

 _Yep!_ You realize that to Papyrus, you’ve been pretty much silent this whole time. You should probably say something. “I’m gonna call Sans now, okay?”

“Okay!” Papyrus takes his hand off you so you can reach your backpack. Once your phone’s out, you go to your contacts list and find Sans.

It takes a few moments, but he eventually picks up. “Hello?”

“Hey, Sans. It’s me, ______.” You really do need to tell him that, since he never bothered to put any numbers into his phone.

“Hey, ______. What’s up?”

“Oh, not much,” you say out of habit. “Except...I need to talk to you about something.”

“I didn’t leave the water running anywhere, did I?”

“I don’t think so.” You take a deep breath. “Listen, Sans...did you, um…?”

“Did I what?”

“Did you even want to go on this trip?”

“Sure I did,” Sans replies, sounding confused. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, for one thing, you’re still not here. And you’ve been up for a while now! I can’t help but think that...that you’re just tolerating being here.” You take another deep breath. “I-if you didn’t want to come, you could have just said so! I would have understood! Theme parks aren’t for everyone.”

“______? You okay? Your voice sounds shaky.”

You can’t bring yourself to respond.

“______…” he starts, in that same gentle voice you used on him in your first attempt to wake him this morning. “I really did want to come, you know. No bones about it.”

“R...really?”

“Yeah. I guess I haven’t made it all that clear, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Well, sorry if I ruined your fun. Tell you what, I’ll come clean right now.”

“Come clean? About what?”

“I...haven’t actually been at the pool all afternoon.”

Whatever you were expecting him to confess, it wasn’t that. “It sure sounded like you were at the pool.”

“I was, when my brother there called me. Is he still with you?”

“Yeah, he’s still here.”

“Thought so. Anyway, I _was_ at the pool, but only for a few minutes.”

“I don’t understand. What have you been doing all afternoon, then?”

Sans hesitates for a moment. “It’s a surprise.”

You gasp. “A surprise? What kind of surprise?”

“If I tell ya, it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore.” He’s smirking. You can tell.

“...It’s not a joy buzzer, is it?”

“Nah, they don’t sell those here.”

“Okay, good!”

“So...ya feelin’ a little better now?”

“You know what? I think so.”

“Good, ‘cause I gotta go. See you soon!”

“See you, Sans!”

And just before he hangs up, you can hear someone’s voice loud and clear in the background. “Please stand clear of the doors,” it says. “ _Por favor manténganse alejado de las puertas._ ”

 


	8. 3:22 PM (and the Rest)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone, this marks the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who supported this story, by commenting, kudos-ing, or even just reading; it really means a lot!  
> And stay tuned after the feature for more content!

For a few seconds, you sit there motionless, holding your Pooh in your lap and your phone at your side. “Papyrus,” you say, “he’s on the monorail. He’s coming!” You practically throw your phone back into your backpack and shoot up.

“Took him long enough!” Papyrus says, standing up a bit more calmly.

“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” You rush ahead, careful not to run too fast. “To the front entrance!”

 

\---

For around ten minutes, you and Papyrus stand by the big Mickey Mouse face by the Main Street clock tower, though you need to keep to the side to make room for families posing for pictures. All the while, you keep lookout, your eyes locked on the front gates. “See anyone resembling a skeleton, Papyrus?”

“Nope! I’ll keep looking, though! The great Papyrus has a keen eye for other skeletons!” he proclaims. “Ooh, like that one over there!”

“Where?”

“Never mind. They’re just a human.”

You spot a small child dressed as a skeleton pirate. They’re probably who Papyrus was talking about. “Oh. Oh, well.” You take out your phone and check the time, which is 3:22. “Should be any minute now.”

Sure enough, in a couple of minutes, your phone rings. “Sans (less than three)” it reads. Needless to say, you answer it in a split second. “Sans, hi! Where are you?”

“I’m standing right behind the really cool skeleton.”

Slowly, you turn your head. “The really cool...oh!”

Standing a few feet behind Papyrus is someone you’d recognize anywhere. Short and big-boned, with a grin permanently stuck to his face...it’s most certainly your boyfriend. And he changed his hoodie, too! You can tell because this new one’s a slightly lighter shade of blue and doesn’t have a ketchup stain on it.

Papyrus is still watching the incoming crowds, however, and doesn’t notice his brother at all. Sans winks at you, and you snicker.

“Human?” Papyrus says. “What’s so funny?

“You got a little something behind you!”

“What on Earth do you--?” Papyrus turns his head and upper body around. “SANS!” The rest of him quickly follows.

“Hey, bro,” Sans says.

“How did I not see you come in?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I just magically appeared. They have a lot of magic here, don’t they?”

“That’s what they say!” You take the phone away from your ear. “I’m assuming I can hang up now?”

“Go right ahead,” Sans says. “I won’t stop you.”

“Okay.” You end the call, put the phone away, and take a few steps toward Sans. “So…” You sound a lot calmer than you’re feeling. “You finally show yourself.”

“Yep.” He points to your stuffed Pooh. “I see you got yourself something.”

“Actually, Papyrus got this for me. Long story. This is…” You wonder whether to tell him about Imaginary Sans before deciding against it. “...Pooh.”

“Well, isn’t he cute?” He leans down so he can be on Pooh’s level. “You’re not gonna run away with ______, are ya?”

 _Believe me, I want to,_ Imaginary Sans replies. _You’re so lucky, Sans._

But you ignore the comment and just laugh. “Don’t worry. Pooh has no interest in that sort of thing. He’s just an innocent little bear.”

_Oh, bother._

Sans picks himself up. “You know, ______, I can get you things, too.”

“Can you really?”

“Sure I can.” He winks. “I’m Sans-ta Claus, after all.”

You smile. “So you are. But did you actually get me something, or are you just pointing out that you can?”

“Remember the surprise I mentioned earlier?”

“Yeah.”

“This is it.” It’s only now that you notice he’s been holding one hand behind his back, because he shifts it to his front. “Here you go.” He hands you a piece of paper messily folded in half.

“Oh my gosh,” you say, taking it. “Thanks, Sans! You didn’t have to; really, you-- oh.”

All you see when you open up the paper is “present from sans” messily written in pencil. And in all lower case. “I don’t know what I was expecting.”

“Check the back,” Sans says.

You fold the paper again and flip it over, and sure enough, there’s more words. “it’ll ketchup with you. hope it’s not too late.” What does that mean?

Wait a minute. The ketchup pun...that’s the one he used this morning! You remember it like it was...well, this morning. That was when he pulled the ketchup packet out of his hoodie pocket.

And now that you think about it, the pocket on that hoodie he’s wearing now seems to be bulging a little. You stick the paper in your pants pocket and reach toward Sans. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Nope.”

“Good, thanks.” You push your hand inside, immediately touching a small box of some sort. And you pull it out to find...it’s a Disney-themed box of chocolate.

“Get it?” Sans says, grinning even wider than normal. “Choco? Late?”

“You got this at the gift shop, didn’t you?” Your perfectly straight face gives way to a grin just as wide as Sans’s. “I love it.”

Pooh is caught in the middle as you wrap your arms around him. Even with your eyes shut tight, you’re on the verge of tears again. Just loud enough for him to hear, you whisper, “It’s so good to see you.”

 

\---

The rest of the day confirms this trip as the best date-cation you’ve ever had. Granted, it’s the only date-cation you’ve ever had, but there are a lot of hypothetical ones that could have been a lot worse than this. So you’re sticking to your claim.

Papyrus stays with you even after you and Sans are reunited, both to make sure nothing else goes wrong and because he wants to get the most out of his hundred-dollar ticket. You’re lucky you booked a place that serves spaghetti for dinner.

Eventually, the sky goes dark, and Papyrus insists that you and Sans give the day a “grand finale” with the fireworks show.

“I don’t know, Papyrus,” you say. “Fireworks make me...emotional.”

“Come on! Dates are ALL ABOUT emotions, aren’t they?”

“He’s right, ______,” Sans adds, slinging an arm around you. “Besides, I’m _bursting_ with excitement to see these fireworks.”

As cheesy as that is, you can’t help but giggle.

 

\---

Music (including a certain tune you heard earlier) fills the air as fireworks explode above you, all to Jiminy Cricket’s narration. The space between you and Sans only shrinks as Papyrus stands off to the side, staring at the sky in awe. You couldn’t ask for a more perfect moment. Or should you say you couldn’t _wish_ for one? The show is called Wishes, after all.

"You doin' alright, ______?" Sans asks. "You said fireworks make you emotional."

Your eyes feel a little watery, but otherwise you're fine. "This is a good kind of emotional," you whisper. “You know, Sans...I know he’s kind of a third wheel right now, but I’m really glad Papyrus showed up.”

“Me, too,” Sans says. “Him comin’ over to visit you before I could...it made things so much better.”

“And he’s quite the dating expert, isn’t he? ‘Grand finale’…I like the sound of that.”

“You know what most dates’ grand finales have, ______?”

_When you wish upon a star_

“What?”

_Makes no difference who you are_

“I’ll tell you, but first, you kinda need both arms around me.”

_Anything your heart desires will come to you_

“Good call. PAPYRUS?”

Papyrus keeps his eye sockets glued on the fireworks. “Yes?”

You hold the stuffed bear out so he can grab it. “Hold Pooh for me, will you?”

He happily takes Pooh, which, by the way, is the name you're using interchangeably with "Imaginary Sans" now.

“Now…” you say, wrapping your newly freed arm tightly around Sans. “...where were we?”

He smirks. “Right about here.” And he closes the gap between your faces.

 

_When your heart is in your dreams_

_No request is too extreme_

_When you wish upon a star_

_Your dreams_

_Come_

_True!_

 

“...Could you help me out here? I kind of don’t have any lips.”

“Hee hee! Sure thing, Sans.”

  
THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it! The first multichapter fic I have ever finished! But while the main story has ended, the date-cation isn't over. Because starting next chapter is the BONUS FEATURES! Here's what's there so far:
> 
> A short unofficial sequel, titled "Reality Vs. Fantasy." Imaginary Sans's feelings for you are too great to let you slip away, and the boyfriend he's based on isn't ready to give you up, either. (Part 2 is coming.)
> 
> And here's what you can request:
> 
> A "behind the scenes" piece with the story's original outline, if you're really interested in how I came up with the story.
> 
> A short midquel titled "Pa-Pirates of the Caribbean" that takes place in the middle of chapter 8. You, Sans, and Papyrus go on the pirate ride, and the skelebros are far from quiet. (I'm probably going to put this one in after Reality vs. Fantasy.)
> 
> And lastly, a full-on sequel! Now, if the sequel you have in mind is of the "what they do after they get back to the hotel room, wink wink" variety, you're going to ask someone else for this. And if any of you are actually considering writing that, please, PLEASE, keep all NSFW content inside the hotel room! Thank you!
> 
> Thanks once again for reading!


	9. BONUS FEATURE: Reality vs. Fantasy (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imaginary Sans's feelings for you are too great to let you slip away, and the boyfriend he's based on isn't ready to give you up, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the bonus features! What you're about to read is written under the assumption that you've read the main story already, so if you haven't done that, you might want to go back to chapter 1.  
> Credit to BerlinCityGirl for the dream idea, and a couple people for the idea to pit Imaginary Sans against the real one.  
> And please keep in mind that this bonus short is an UNOFFICIAL sequel. Meaning it's only canon in regards to the main plot if you personally want it to be.

Your first conscious thought on the second morning is, _Was that a dream?_ followed by _Yeah, I guess it was._

And even though Imaginary Sans, or Pooh, as you sometimes call him, is all the way on the couch across from you, he still hears this thought. _What did you dream about?_ he asks eagerly.

 _Hold on._ You sit up and turn your phone alarm off. _Okay, I was on the Winnie the Pooh ride, like we went on._

_Yeah._

_And Papyrus was there, and you were in my lap, and I think Tigger was behind us? But then we got to the heffalump part, except instead of heffalumps, it was a bunch of Dumbos._

_Were there any woozles?_

_Maybe? Don’t remember seeing any._ _Anyway, once we got to that part, you weren’t there anymore. But then SANS came in, riding on a Dumbo, and he got RIGHT in front of us. And then he said something to me._

 _Yeah? What did he say?_ He sounds pretty interested in hearing the answer.

 _Can’t remember the exact words,_ you tell him, _but it was something like ‘Am I getting you? Do you see me?’ And that’s the last thing that happened before I woke up. Weird, right?_

Imaginary Sans pauses for a moment. _I’m sure you’ve had weirder._

 

\---

So maybe that particular dream wasn’t very weird, as far as dreams are concerned. But what IS weird is that Sans appears in every one of your dreams for the rest of your date-cation. And with each night, the dreams become more vivid, and you’re able to recount more details to Imaginary Sans the morning after. He always asks.

Even though you’re the one who created him, you never expected him to be so interested in your dreams.

But it all comes together on the sixth night of this dream business, and the seventh and final of your trip. You’re in Sans and Papyrus’s house, and it’s so detailed, so solid, so _real_. But it can’t be real; you know for a fact their house doesn’t have a slide spiraling from Sans’s room to the basement. Not to mention that you don’t remember waking up, and even if you had, you wouldn’t be _here_. There’s only one logical explanation.

This must be one of those lucid dreams you’ve heard about.

Who knows how long it will be before you get an opportunity like this again? You need to take advantage of it! But what to do first?

Sliding down that slide would be a good start. You run over to Sans’s room and plop yourself down, only sort of feeling the smooth fiberglass against your skin. Okay, so maybe this isn’t a _perfect_ dream environment.

But it’s close enough! You push yourself forwards and rocket down the slide, landing on a pile of marshmallows at the bottom. “Darn!” you say. “I got my shoe dirt on perfectly good marshmallows!”

“There’s no shoe dirt in dreams, ______.” Is that…?

It is! You look up to find Sans standing above you, holding out a hand to help you up. You take it and lift yourself with his assistance. Strangely, none of the marshmallows get squished; they all stay perfectly whole even when you have to step on them.

“Thanks,” you say, dusting yourself off even though it isn’t necessary. “Hey, this doesn’t look like your basement!”

“You’ve never been in Sans’s basement.”

“True, but whatever it looks like, it’s probably not--” You stop yourself. “Sans, did you just refer to yourself in the third person?”

“Yes, well...I’m not really Sans.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m dreaming. You’re Dream Sans.”

Dream Sans laughs. “That’s the third name you’ve given me this week, ______!”

“The third name I...what?” There _is_ a certain figment of your imagination you’ve been using _two_ names for, but...wait a minute. You step closer to him to get a better look. “Imaginary Sans?”

He smiles warmly. “You got it.”

“How did you get in here?”

“Well, first I had to find your subconscious. It took a while, but it turned out all I had to do was hop a ride on an elephant.”

An elephant? Does he mean… “Dumbo?”

“I seem to recall that being his name.”

All the pieces come together. “So does this mean that every night since I made you, you’ve been playing Real Sans in my dreams?”

He shrugs, still smiling. “Hey, someone’s gotta do it! Anyway, now that I’ve cleared your head enough for you to talk to me, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Imaginary Sans, the literal guy of your dreams.”

You sigh. “Oh, Sans...this is too good to be true! Really, I have no idea how this is possible!”

“Let’s just say love made me real,” he says, wrapping an arm around you. “Or at least a little less imaginary.”

That explanation doesn’t help much, but you don’t want to ruin the dream by complaining. Instead of pressing for details, you ask, “So do I have to start calling you Mostly Imaginary Sans?”

“That won’t be necessary.” He lifts up a foot, and you take that as a signal to start walking. “So, ______, welcome to my basement.”

It’s only now that you truly take in the sight of the place. It’s way bigger than a basement should be, and full of symbols of romance. There’s a candlelit dinner table on one side, stacks of chocolate boxes on the other, and you even see a river running through, presumably for boat rides. “Why, Imaginary Sans,” you say, “do you have feelings for me?”

He smirks. “Maybe.”

It’s a few moments before you speak up again. “So, uh, what are we gonna do first?”

“This is _your_ dream, ______. Your wish is my command.”

“Hm. Well, this is a lucid dream, right?”

“Something like that.”

You both stop walking. “I remember thinking that if I ever got one of those, I’d fly.”

“Fly?”

“Yeah, just lift myself off the ground and fly. Like a superhero.”

“That can be arranged.” He lets go of you and snaps his fingers, and a pair of rocket boots appears on your feet.

You lift up your foot to examine a boot, not even losing your balance. “Whoa! Thanks, Sans! How did…?” You trail off.

“How did I do that?"

“No, I know perfectly well how. What I wanna know is why _you_ can do that and _I_ can’t.”

“No one said you couldn’t! Why don’t you try giving yourself a helmet or something?”

“Good idea, but first…” You activate the boots just by thinking to. “...I’m gonna fly.” And you kick off the ground, not even worrying about if you hit the ceiling. Partially because there _is_ no ceiling. “WOOO HOOO!”

Imaginary Sans makes himself his own boots. “Hey, don’t leave me behind! I’m--”

The sound of your phone alarm rips through the “basement,” dissolving it in seconds, and soon, you find yourself back in your hotel bed. _Awwww,_ you think. _That was way too soon. But at least I got to fly!_

 _If it helps at all, I had a wonderful few minutes._ Once again, Imaginary Sans, in his Pooh form, is on the couch across from you, right where you left him last night.

You sit up to get a better look at him. _Imaginary Sans, was that...really you?_

_Sure was, ______. Who else could it have been?_

_You have a point, but there’s always a chance I was making all that up. About you playing Real Sans. It was a lucid dream, after all._ You yawn, then a few seconds later, you gasp. “Real Sans!”

Once you’ve turned off your phone alarm, you leap out of bed and start nudging your real boyfriend. “Hey, Saaaans,” you say, gentle but urgent. “We don’t want to miss our flight, do we?”

And somewhere in the back of your mind, you hear a dejected, _Oh, right. It’s_ his _turn to be your boyfriend._


	10. BONUS FEATURE: Reality vs. Fantasy (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This turned out a lot more emotional than I thought it would.  
> I added in a couple more sentences towards the end there, but it's not much.  
> And Imaginary Sans has his own blog now! Just go to imaginaryboyfriendsans.tumblr.com.

Maybe it’s just because you’re bored, but on the flight home, it feels like Imaginary Sans is functioning without you. You hear his comments and requests even when you’re not consciously making him say anything. Do you just have such a good idea of his personality that you don’t even need to think about it?

No, that can’t be it. He actually startles you a couple of times. Like in the middle of the flight when you’re eating a snack. _Can I have one?_ he asks.

Even weirder is that his voice isn’t coming from Pooh, or your brain area. No, it sounds like it’s _right next to your ear_. And it can’t be coming from Real Sans; he’s slumped in his seat and staring out the window.

Speaking of Real Sans, what he says next is even weirder. “Hey, ______, did you hear something? It sounded kinda like me.”

 

\---

Between then and when you arrive at his house to drop him off, Sans reports hearing his own voice only two more times, and one of them is when he’s pointing out the echo outside.

But once you’re inside the building, you can’t ignore this strangeness any longer. Imaginary Sans is the loudest and clearest he’s ever been when he says, “Hey there, Sans. Nice place you got here.”

The way that rings in your ears and not just your mind tells you it was very much out loud. Sans looks at you in confusion. “______?” he says.

“Yeah?”

“Who’s that?”

Before you can say anything, a second Sans appears in front of you. He looks just like the real one, except he’s translucent, like a ghost. That, and his hoodie’s zipped up. And it has a red heart symbol on it. “I’m you! Doncha recognize me?”

You look out the window at your car, where your stuffed bear is, before looking back at the figure. “How is this happening?”

Real Sans has a question of his own. “Why are there two of me?”

“ _That_ I know,” you say. “Remember the first full day of the trip, when Papyrus came by to keep me company?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he didn’t want me to have to wait for you to show up to date you, so...I kind of made an imaginary copy of you.”

Sans looks back and forth between you and his imaginary self. “So what you’re sayin’ is...you made this guy up?”

“Yep,” you say, trying your best to stay calm. “But then he kind of...got a mind of his own.”

“That’s basically it,” Imaginary Sans says. “But while my mind is my own, my heart will always be ______’s.” He sighs. “Which is why I wanted to talk to you. You have to understand how painful it is...never being with the love of your life except when they’re asleep.”

“Love of your life?” Real Sans repeats. “______ created you a week ago.”

“Yes, but when you live in someone’s mind, you grow to know them just as well as they do. And what I know is...it’s beautiful.”

“That, and I specifically made him to like me,” you add. “He's _really good_ at saying things like that.”

“I only speak the truth, ______.”

“Stop it!” you say, giggling. “You’re making me look unfaithful!”

“See?” Imaginary Sans says. “If you get any time with me in the waking hours, it’s cheating. And I know you’re happy with your real boyfriend, and I should be happy, too, but...the sleeping hours just aren’t enough.” He stares at the floor. “This world just isn’t big enough for two Sanses.”

You gasp. “You’re not gonna KILL him, are you?”

“What? No!” he says. “I just meant we can’t both date you, that’s all.”

“So you want us to break up?” Real Sans asks.

Imaginary Sans nods. “If it’s not too much trouble.”

“Look, buddy, I may not be as poetic as you are, but I’m not gonna give ______ up just because you want me to. What we have here...” He looks back at you and smiles. “...it means too much to me.” He turns to Imaginary Sans, a stern expression on his face. “Got it?”

“...I see.” He sits down on a couch behind him. “Well, sorry for bothering you, then...I’m sure ______ will be very happy with you. I mean, you’re the truth...you’re actual...everything is satisfactual.”

Real Sans is silent for a moment. “...You okay there, buddy?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he responds. “Hey, Sans?”

“Yeah?”

“If Papyrus hadn’t come, and ______ hadn’t called...you still would have come to see them, right?”

“Sure. What makes you think I wouldn’t have?”

“You took quite a while. So long that ______ had to make me.”

Sensing the tension, you speak up. “He showed up eventually.”

“Not before he made you _cry_!” He squints. “You know, he never really apologized for that.”

“I didn’t know they were that shaken up! What’s with the sudden hostility?”

“Don’t take it personally, Sans. I just want to make sure my reason for existence is in good hands!” He hops off the couch. “Do you even care about ______ that much?”

“What? Of course I do! As much as I’ve ever cared about anyone.”

“Then you should really do a better job of showing it!” His hand starts glowing. It looks like...a magic attack, the kind Real Sans told you about.

Real Sans, meanwhile, gets both his hands glowing. “So you’re goin’ down THIS path, huh?”

“Sans, no!” you shout. “You only have 1 HP!” It still fascinates you how monsters, being mostly made of magic, measure their health like video game characters do.

“This guy’s imaginary, right?”

“I think so…”

“Then real magic attacks shouldn’t hurt him!” White and blue glowing bones fill the room, some more solid-looking than others.

“Guys, what are you doing? This isn’t worth fighting over!”

But it’s too late. The bones are already flying. “AAH!” You dash out of the house before you can be hit.

And as you cling to the front wall, horrified both for yourself and for both your boyfriends, you manage to squeeze out a sentence. “Y-you know guys, _I_ should get a say in this, too.”

The battle rages on. You have to do _something_ to stop it, but you also don’t want to die. Still, they’re fighting over how much they care about you, right? If they really do care, they should listen to you.

You inch towards the front door, preparing to say a simple “Guys, stop,” when you hear, “WHAT HAVE I DONE?”

The blows stop. You see a message float out the door, even though there’s no paper for it to rest on. It says “HP -.001”.

Nervously, you step back into the building. “Are...are you two okay?”

“ _I’m_ fine,” Real Sans tells you. “Honestly, I’m more worried about my telescope.”

You notice there is, indeed, a knocked over telescope next to the wall. “That’s good. I thought the room would be destroyed!”

“I went easy on the guy.” His usual grin fades. “Speaking of which, you should really go talk to him. He’s the one you should be worried about, not me.” He motions toward the couch, where Imaginary Sans is lying face down.

“Oh my gosh...I’ll go talk to him!”

As you’re heading over, Real Sans interrupts. “By the way, I really am sorry I kept you waiting so long. Now that I think about it, it kinda _did_ sound like you’d been crying back there, but...this can wait. Other me needs you.”

You nod and finish your trip to the couch. There’s still enough room for you to sit down next to Imaginary Sans, so you do that. “Hey, Sans,” you say. “What’s wrong?”

He lifts his head to look at you. “Oh, ______, I...I’m so sorry!”

“About what?”

“About all of this! But especially Real Sans.” He sniffs. “I didn’t mean to really hit him!”

“That was _your_ hit?”

“Mm hm.”  
  
“It was a tiny fraction of an HP, Imaginary Sans. Don’t worry.”

“It’s not the injury itself I’m worried about! ______, I’ve gotten so much less imaginary that...that I can really hurt people now! I can hurt _you_! And I might get even more powerful.”

You offer him an arm, and he sits up so he can cry into your shoulder instead of the couch cushion. “You know the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you...right?” he asks.

“Right.”

“But then I went and tried to kill the real Sans, just because I was jealous!”

“I know you weren’t really trying to kill him. You didn’t think you could.”

“But I could have! If I didn't stop, I could have! The guy you love so much...what kind of fantasy boyfriend am I?”

“You’re _my_ fantasy boyfriend,” you say, smiling. “That’s what you are.”

“R-really?”

“Yep.”

“But...I thought you…”

“I do still love the real Sans, yes. But I love you, too. You’re the literal guy of my dreams.”

“Aw, ______…”

“Hey, you said it first!”

“But the fact that you really think so...it means so much to me.”

“It means you’re doing your job.”

“Heh, I guess so.” He looks at his own hand, slightly less translucent than it was before. “But I can’t really do my job if I stay semi-real, can I?”

“Not really. I mean, you’re welcome to stay semi-real if you really want to, but then my brain’s gonna have to cast someone else as Dream Sans.”

“True. Not to mention Real Sans and I won’t be able to both date you.”

“You mean you'd be okay with that?”

“You know what? I would. If you like both of us, there's no reason you shouldn't have both us! Even if I do get a little jealous sometimes...” He laughs nervously. “But real people don't date more than one other real person at a time, do they?”

“Actually, some of them do. It is a thing!”

“Really? I haven’t seen that one in your knowledge banks.”

“Well, it is a thing, and if you really want, I could arrange something.”

“Thanks, but maybe I don’t want to be your second real boyfriend. I just want to be your imaginary boyfriend.”

“You sure?”

“Definitely. That way, I’ll be there whenever you need me.”

“Thanks, Imaginary Sans.” You let out a yawn. “Now, let’s go home before I’m too tired to drive.”

“I’m right behind you, ______. Always.”

THE END


	11. BONUS FEATURE: Pa-Pirates of the Caribbean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how sometimes animated movie DVDs have deleted scenes? And how they're usually just storyboards? Consider "Pa-Pirates" one of those. The thing is, it isn't quite...finished, and I don't feel up for completing it properly. So I'll show you what I have.
> 
> Besides, it already IS a deleted scene. Originally, in the main story, Papyrus was going to take you on Pirates of the Caribbean right after Pooh. The scene was cut because as much fun as it could be, it wouldn't contribute anything to the plot. This version of the scene, meant to be a bonus feature, takes place during chapter 8, just after Sans arrives.

Sans is here, your chocolate box is in your backpack, and you’re ready to move on to...hey, what ARE you going to do next, anyway?

“Sans, you didn’t happen to do any research on what rides are here, did you?” you ask.

He shrugs. “Nope.”

“Then Papyrus, did you see anything you wanted to go on?”

“I got to drive a race car today! I’m good!” He’s referring to Tomorrowland Speedway, which you went on earlier.

“Alright, then.” You switch from speaking to thinking to say, _How about you, Imaginary Sans?_ _Anything_ you _want to do?_

 _Don’t look at me. I want whatever makes_ you _happy._

Yeah, you didn’t think you’d get anywhere asking him. But now it’s all up to you. You stand there for a few moments without saying a word, considering your options. But then a familiar tune plays in the entrance music loop, and no, it’s not “When You Wish Upon a Star.”

_Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me…_

“That’s it!” you say. “We can go on Pirates!”

“Okay.”

“I like pirates! They remind me of Undyne! And they have quite the respect for skeletons.”

_Anything for you!_

“It’s settled, then. We’re going!” You dart underneath the bridge. “Come on! I know where it is!”

 

\---

A few minutes later, you’re in Adventureland, standing next to the mast that marks the entrance to Pirates of the Caribbean. That name is written on the sail in red, intentionally faded script. A flag on the clock tower nearby warns that “Dead Men Tell No Tales.”

“This isn’t a scary ride is it? ‘Cause if it is, we might wanna leave my bro at the door.”

“A little, I guess, but it’s a level of scariness your brother can handle. But it does have a small drop in it. Can you handle that, Sans?”

“A _drop_?” he says. “Didn’t you say this was a boat ride?”

“Um, yeah. And there’s a drop in it.”

“You need a little more water than that to make a boat float!”

You laugh, and Papyrus looks up in a way that you think is supposed to suggest rolling his eyes.

“Okay, so if no one has any objections,” you say, “let’s go in!” And you lead them into the shade and to the entrance to the queue. It’s divided into a left line and a right line, but it really doesn’t matter which one you choose, you say, since they both lead you to the same ride. So you arbitrarily pick the left one.

It takes about 20 minutes for you to advance through dimly lit hallways, past barrels, cannon balls, and cannons, before you finally reach the loading dock.

And at first, you’re too busy listening to Papyrus and Sans’s friendly argument about Sans’s dirty laundry to notice. It’s not until you look away for a second that you have to interrupt them. “Hey, look, we’re almost there!”

“ _This_ was one of those long lines you warned me about?” Sans says.  
  
“It isn’t one of the longer ones. Or at least, it’s not _supposed_ to be.” You’ve seen the wait time at 65 minutes on some trips.

When it comes time for you to be directed to a row, the Cast Member asks you how many. And you might come off as a bit too smug when you tell him “three.” That’s a higher number than you ever expected to tell them this trip.

As luck would have it, he directs you to the very front row.

\---

(A/N: Here's the storyboarded part, straight from the planning document. The following is a bunch of commentary on the actual ride I wrote for you and the skeletons. It was written for my reference, so I added in short explanations of what's going on.)

**Commentary by Scene**

_Cave_

 

(A kid sitting behind you notices your skeleton friends.)

SMALL CHILD: Mommy, are they dead?

READER: No, they aren’t. They haven’t died even once!

SANS: (under his breath) Not in THIS timeline, anyway…

 

\---

 

PAPYRUS: You didn’t tell me there were skeletons on this ride! Why aren’t they moving?

READER: (to themself) Oh, boy, how do I explain this? (normal volume) You know how, when monsters die, they turn into dust?

PAPYRUS: Yes.

READER: Well, when humans die...they turn into skeletons.

PAPYRUS: You’re telling me you get to have an entire second life as a skeleton?

READER: That would be the coolest thing ever, but no.

 

\---

 

READER: Is that a mermaid skeleton? Hey, Sans or Papyrus, are there any skeleton mermaid monsters?

PAPYRUS: That would be the coolest thing ever, but no.

 

\---

 

IMAGINARY SANS: _______, I’m scared! Hold me!_

READER: I’m already holding you, Imaginary Sans.

IMAGINARY SANS: _Hold me_ closer.

 

_Cannons_

 

READER: That was the drop I mentioned. Are you okay, Sans?

SANS: I guess that rattled my bones a little.

PAPYRUS: And I got WET!

PAPYRUS: Well, not _wet_ , per se…

PAPYRUS: More like mildly sprinkled.

 

_Dunking room_

 

(A pirate is holding a man under the water in a well, demanding the whereabouts of Captain Jack Sparrow.)

SANS: Looks like he’s getting dunked on.

READER: You’ve said that before, and I don’t get it! Is it just your thing?

SANS: You could say that.

 

\---

 

PAPYRUS: Who is this “Captain Jack Sparrow” we keep hearing about?

READER: Him. (points to the Captain, hiding in the dresses) That’s Captain Jack Sparrow.

PAPYRUS: Oh. But...what did he do? Why are they after him?

READER: I’m...not sure, actually. He wasn’t always here.

READER: You see, they made a movie based on the ride…

READER: ...and then they changed the ride based on the movie.

READER: Does that make any sense?

 

_Song/fire room_

 

(Pirates joyfully sing the ride's theme song as the city burns.)

READER: (singing quietly) Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!

READER: We pillage the village, or something like that…

READER: Yeah, I never quite got the words to this song.

 

\---

(In regards to the fire)

SANS: Okay, who made Toriel mad?

 

\---

 

SANS: All this fire makes me think of hot dogs. Can we get hot dogs after this?

PAPYRUS: I’ll pass.

 

_Key dog/final scene_

 

PAPYRUS: I sure hope that key isn’t anyone’s special attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of the bonus content (unless there's enough demand for me to finish this feature). Anything else pertaining to this story will be in a separate place, in the form of a spinoff or sequel.
> 
> (Pssst. If any of you want to draw fanart, you have my full permission. Just tag it with #magical datecation on Tumblr if you want me to see it. And I admit, I kind of want there to be an #imaginary sans tag. He's grown on me.)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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